Chapter 211 - Ch211. Chaos in the Land of Water
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While Rei enjoyed his peaceful moments at home, surrounded by his loving wives, and trained the foxes, Ao, on the other hand, had quite a headache-inducing time in the capital of the Land of Water.
After Rei's departure, Ao decided to stay hidden in the city in order to witness if everything would go according to Rei's plan. He was quite doubtful about it, after all. As someone who was the ex-leader of the ANBU Hunter-nin division, Ao knew well that usually, no plan survives the confrontation with the enemy and when Rei actually left the country altogether, relying on his supposed plot to go as he intended without him influencing it in any way than he originally did... Let's just say Ao spent the following day cursing at anything that moved. In his opinion, it was a very stupid move.
Unfortunately for Ao, he witnessed firsthand how Rei threatened the Water Dayimo. That gave him quite an idea of Rei's ways of solving problems. To say Ao was bewildered when the arguably most influential man in the Water Country was manhandled like a small misbehaving child would be an understatement. Three ninjas walked into the Water Palace and when they left, the Daimyo was shaking in his seat while all of his guards were knocked unconscious with almost laughable ease.
That was really the only thing that made him stay in the capital city. He wanted to see firsthand if Rei is really just c.o.c.ky beyond belief or if everything will go as he planned.
...
Days slowly went by and the new Regent of the Water Country proved to be an utter waste of space as expected. The Daimyo chose his seventh cousin, a wholly unpleasant fat man who lived for partying, drugs, and whores. Needless to say, it didn't take even twenty-four hours for the palace to be filled with a lot of... filth.
Ao made sure to sneak around a bit and what he discovered didn't please him. All projects for the following two months were stopped and the budget relocated which honestly disrupted the flow of the whole country. The palace was filled with high-end p.r.o.s.t.i.t.u.t.es and people with a shady background as the bastard playing regent did backroom deals, using the country's money to enrich himself.
Sure, Ao knew the Daimyo did the same. The lengthy meetings that were more about enjoying this or that girl rather than really negotiating were quite well-known in the Kiri ANBU force. Not one female ANBU in the infiltration and assassination department was playing one of these 'easy girls'. But the Daimyo at least made sure the country and its government worked like a well-oiled machine and was moderate in his spendings. Nobody cared about his life of debauchery and lavishness if their own lives were going just fine and the country was actually gaining money rather than losing it.
...
Soon enough, it was already a month since Rei left and Ao could only sadly shake his head at the chaos that erupted in the Land of Water. Only a month passed... it was quite surreal for Ao to witness what a disaster an economical collapse would be. The feudal system was ruthless and many countries had a wide divide between really poor people and really rich people with nothing in between. But the Daimyo's made usually sure the country is stable if only for their own benefit. To witness how quickly the country could collapse and how effective Rei's actions were was quite shocking for Ao who his entire life believed that strength indeed makes right in some sense.
Businessmen were dissatisfied due to the rate at which they were losing their money since the new regent disrupted the economy in the country with his budget allocation. A lot of underground trade was established and deals off the books started to be more common. Smuggling activity also increased since the Kirigarure was put in the trade embargo, making part of it quite pointless.
The real surprise was when the Biri-Biri company completely ignored the embargo and started selling food to Kirigakure openly in exchange for becoming its sole supplier of many commodities and sealing unbreakable trading agreements that would last decades. Ao knew the elders would be unable to break them if they ever got the village back. It was official that the Biri-Biri company showed its support for Kirigakure and for that, the company's word will have a lot of influence in the village, no matter who rules it. Ao feared such a scenario. Especially because the company supported the clan-hating Kirigakure.
Many ministers of the Land of Water were angry with them for ignoring Daimyo's words... they, however, quickly realized the country needed the Biri-Biri company more than the Biri-Biri company needed the country, causing them to promptly shut up.
Kirigakure, on the other hand, fared quite well as far as survival went but the Biri-Biri company refused to sell them any equipment helpful in combat. Despite the company being known for selling offensive seals in the Third War, the only thing they sold to Kirigakure were mundane things. Hence... Ao's much anticipated moment, came just a month and a week into the reign of the new regent.
The man was found dead in his bed, covered in his own fluids mixed with poison. He was butt-n.a.k.e.d with his nightly companion nowhere to be found, only a single message on the bedside table saying the Fourth Mizukage expects the Water Daimyo to lift his embargo or suffer the same fate.
And that's when the real chaos erupted.
...
The biggest supporter of Kirigakure in the past month was out of nowhere and with ruthless fierceness rallying other countries to 'punish' such a horrible injustice as the Mizukage ordering the assassination of the Water Daimyo's regent. It caused such a loud ruckus in the international diplomatic channels that Ao started suspecting if it really was the Mizukage ordering the kill. Only intelligence from Resistance that it was really so made his suspicions subside.
It honestly made no sense!
Why would the company suddenly turn its back on Kirigakure? Right after they secured a very lucrative deal with them?
Unfortunately, the Biri-Biri company was too influential, too big to be stopped by something simple. Its international scale completely prevented any form of interference from Kirigakure's side. They were simply too widespread and numerous for one village to do anything about them. Especially in the territory of other countries and hidden villages. The only thing that could potentially help would be the assassination of the company's owner. There was however a small problem with that.
Anybody with brains realized the man on the official doc.u.ment is not really the one behind the scenes and nobody knew who the REAL owner was.
The finishing blow, however, came when the Uzushio Trading Company put their full support behind the Biri-Biri company. Suddenly the angered Daimyos in the countries surrounding the Land of Water found themselves in a position with even more support and potential financing in case they decided to retaliate against the daring actions of the Fourth Mizukage.
There was a reason why the villages usually didn't take missions to assassinate Daimyos. It was a diplomatic mess that would usually drag any potential gains to a steep negative. Suddenly, Land of Fire with Konoha, Land of Lightning with Kumogakure, Land of Earth with Iwagakure, and dozen other smaller countries with a few small-scale ninja villages were all roped in by either the influence of the two major international trading companies, vision of getting rid of one of the Big Five hidden villages, avenging the death of a noble, or whatever other selfish and greed-filled reason they could have had.
The politicians of the Land of Water, the council of the Kirigakure with the Fourth Mizukage, and even the Resistance and its clan heads... the entire country was on its knees both economically and politically with everybody who mattered pinning for the war that would bring demise to them.
These torturous days... Ao could only silently stare at the wall in his hotel room in utter despair, wondering where did it all go so horribly wrong.
Until he wasn't.
The Biri-Biri company gave Kirigakure an ultimatum.
They would EITHER stop supplying Kirigakure with the merchandise... which would mean the village will be unable to legally buy it from anybody else because of the exclusive trading agreement they signed... and on top of that, they would support the other countries in their quest to decimate the village and take a generous amount of loot from it... which everybody knew would also decimate the whole country just because... OR there would be a battle between the designated proxy of the Biri-Biri company and Yagura, the Fourth Mizukage.
At that, the whole world was forced to blink. It was such a stupid sounding announcement that nobody believed their eyes when they saw it. On one hand, they threatened to support the start of a new Shinobi War, one that would certainly affect the countries to a much bigger scale than the previous ones, and on the other hand, they wanted a freaking duel to resolve it?
Two weeks of constant fear and subtle preparations for war. Two weeks of trembling in the face of what's to come. Two weeks of mentally draining negotiations. And in the end... it all ended with a promise of a duel.
That day, many leaders couldn't help but laugh their way to unconsciousness from the sheer ridiculousness of it all. In the end, no war started and no country really gained anything out of it. Since no conflict really began, neither the Biri-Biri company nor the Uzushio Trading Company was required to give any sort of compensation to countries who rallied behind them in order to curry favors. At best, some deals that mostly helped both sides equally were signed. In hindsight, the Biri-Biri company actually gained from the whole worldwide tension the most as the countries started stocking on combat seals in massive amounts.
The only one who really realized the depth of what just happened was utterly tired Ao as he dumbly stared at the announcement with his jaw dropped, realizing just how f.u.c.k.e.d up Kirigakure really was the second the Resistance asked Rei for help. The name of the Biri-Biri representative was, after all...
Ringo Ameyuri.
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Author Note... or Just-A-Rant.
My reasons?
Well, they are colorful.
MCs who scream about becoming Hokage of people who actively beat and abuse them... which only makes me feel as if I was reading about a mentally crippled individual...
Self Inserts who JUST DON'T FEEL REAL because they are so freakishly self-less and only focus on befriending Naruto and making his life better, disregarding the fact in around a decade there will be a continent-wide war where the MC will most likely have to face army-killers like Madara, Obito, Juubi, and even maybe Kaguya...
Self-Insert fanfics where MC has these long-ass monologues about how they will save the world because they are Child of Prophecy for no other reason than being inserted into Naruto.
Or where they want to save lives, saying Itachi, Kisame, Konan, heck, even Obito, deserve better than dying because they are essentially the good guys, right!? Sure... it's not as if they, without any real remorse, killed loads of people to get where they are. Why not focus your entire existence to make the lives of people who don't even know you exist better?
Or where they act like a total moron, don't train, don't get better, and just decide to be a comic relief just because they want to follow the plot so they, in their infinite wisdom, decided imitating Naruto's idiocy was the way to go despite it being implicitly stated the SI is 'a.d.u.l.t'.
I mean... really?
So, yeah. My problem is two-fold. Firstly, if I was reincarnated or self-inserted into Narutoverse, my first concern would be, HOW THE HELL AM I GOING TO SURVIVE! HOW WILL I GET STRONGER? Not... playing a punching bag for Konoha. Not... being the whipping boy for bullies at Academy. Not... how I could make Naruto's life better without any benefit to myself. I could guarantee you if most of the authors of these fanfics REALLY got reincarnated or transmigrated, they would not give a shit about Naruto. They would be scrambling to get better at surviving.
Like it or not, Naruto has HO-KA-GE supporting him. He gets away with shit that would see other people in jail, like painting the Hokage monument... or pranking stores, and damaging their goods... or pranking ANBU... or pranking clan compounds... He is also the last Uzumaki and kid of the fourth Hokage, which means, he has or will inherit a fortune in bank accounts, and if he doesn't, something very fishy is going on. Hokage + Uzumaki Princess = 0 Ryo simply gives no sense. The money for reparation of the damage he caused with his pranks had to come from somewhere and I doubt it was old man Sarutobi paying for it. If Naruto inherits nothing, then there is a reason to believe the old monkey is really pulling a ninja on Naruto.
I find it actually hard to believe I am writing this next bit but...
In the entirety of team seven, the most talented person there is actually Sakura.
There... I said it. And yes, I am ashamed beyond all belief because of it but that doesn't make it any less truthful.
Why?
Well, let's look at Naruto and Sasuke.
Naruto -> Asura's reincarnation, Kyuubi Jinchuuriki, Jiraiya as a shitty godfather but one that at least teaches him something, Sarutobi's unreliable support (the guy disregarded the kid stealing one of the most important scrolls in the village... If that doesn't tell you something then...), Senjutsu, Hagoromo giving him power... In short, Naruto went from utter waste of oxygen to a godlike being in under three years. But you gotta admit he had so many cheats stacked and wore plot armor so thick it would be hard not to reach such a stage even for an utter moron like him.
Sasuke -> He is no better than Naruto. Sharingan itself is a cheat like no other. Then he gets Mangekyo, Eternal Mankegyo, Hagoromo gives him a boost, Sasuke gets Rinnegan. Sasuke was also taught by Orochimaru, which meant a lot of body-enhancing medicine, experiments, etc. He is the reincarnation of Indra. Honestly, the guy has assured OP-ness. It is in his blood.
Then what about Sakura? She had the tutelage of Tsunade. ... That's all. Her fabled chakra control is nothing because it was caused by her abysmal reserves. Increasing the reserves meant Sakura had to train like crazy to get her chakra control up to snuff. So... I won't call Sakura S-rank ninja for she is definitely not one. She is, however, a solid A-rank and whereas some people try and fail to get there during their entire lifetime, she achieved it in three years. She went from useless fangirl only worth for distracting horny bandits to one of the best medic-nin in Konoha. Sure, compared to Naruto and Sasuke she is still worthless on the battlefield... but who has worth when compared to these cheaters when they face Madara or Kaguya?
Compared to what Naruto and Sasuke achieved since graduating from Academy WITH their cheats and plot armor, Sakura achieved quite a lot WITHOUT any cheat-like inborn or gifted power.
(Well, I still don't like her so let's move on...)
A reincarnated person, on the other hand, would be the unfortunate chump who is most likely an orphan without any money nor people like Jiraiya just waiting to impart their secret knowledge to him. He would be like Sakura in that regard. Would he have time to freaking look after sad and hurt poor little Naruto who has more cheats stuffed up his a.s.s than Kami himself? Or try to befriend Sasuke who could steal all of his effort with naught but a look? Knowing the war was coming? Even if he trained like crazy, he would be the poor lad who has to look over his shoulder and try to stay in the shadows in fear of Uncle Danzo showing up offering candy for eternal servitude.
As for Naruto? With his heritage, Danzo would NOT DARE to even try recruiting him. Too much politics involved. Too much scrutiny. Especially since ROOT should have been disbanded long ago. Honestly, I believe if Danzo really wanted Naruto in ROOT, he would have him there no matter what Hiruzen said. How hard would it be for his professional assassins, infiltrators, and spies to stage Naruto's death and subsequent disappearance? I doubt it would be harder than pulling off the Uchiha massacre. So nope... I believe Danzo is the least of Naruto's concerns. But for an orphan kid who shows himself as a prodigy to some degree? Well, Danzo would be there in a jiffy along with his brainwashing kit for dummies.
And secondly, when I read these fanfictions, I, as a reader, am not interested in MCs long-term plans. Definitely not in Ch1. Why would I when I am almost assured the author will NEVER even reach the stage where his plans begin? There are so many fanfics with MCs having a chapter-long planning session of what they will do later on only for the fanfic to be cut short after ten chapters. I ask... what's the point?
And the best are SI into Naruto that after ten chapters of training with Shadow Clones, with more intelligence than canon Naruto, with the maturity of an a.d.u.l.t still show themselves to be far below canon Naruto skill-wise. Those that after all of that training get almost beaten by bandits. I kid you not, there are fanfics like that. One just has to rub his forehead after reading utter garbage like that. After all the posturing, all the bragging about how the MC is better and more trained than canon Naruto, he gets hit by bandits...
Uh-oh...
Well, I could rant on and on but I will cut this short and end it here.
To say something nice in the end, I will simply state that I understand a lot of bullshit authors write. When you write fanfiction you can't really take everything into account. These slip-ups happen easier than I would care to admit and I am sure I had my fair share of them in my fanfictions. But there is an obvious difference between someone who tries to write something consistent and with some substance and someone who just pulls shit out of his a.s.s and throws it onto the screen, hoping it will form a fun story, completely disregarding common sense or any possible existence of brain.
Well, that's it. I vented my frustration :D. Feel free to simply state what you think about it. Just don't get angry over something I wrote. It's not worth it. At worst, feel free to ignore it.
After all, we all have different tastes.