Glory to Wet Bananas

"Say, comrade. Who is the author, I mean, creator of our goddess?" Xu Miao probed if this brown man knew anything about the anime author.

There was something weird about this anime and the goddess's existence. If she was a Dao God, why was she an anime character? How did she become an idol for these people?

And most importantly, what was her origin and the connection to this sect?

Unless Xu Miao understood everything about this goddess, he would not be able to sleep soundly. There was a chance that Yuan Hua was controlling this alchemist sect from the shadow. As Xu Miao was tired of being manipulated by a cunning villain, he never wanted to work with an unknown organization.

The brown man turned to the poster with a proud look.

"Goddess Yuan Hua is the founder of our alchemist sect. She ascended to the immortal realm and left our continent a hundred years ago. She always returned to our sect once every 10 years, but she only stays for only a day. The goddess also shares us with her Dao, the wet bananas! Our sect thrives because of these magical items. To show our gratitude to the goddess, the sect master composed a tale based on Goddess Yuan Hua's journey. And then, he hired several artists from the entire continent to create this masterpiece!"

In other words, Yuan Hua was indeed a Dao Goddess, and she was a real person. The anime was based on her character and her life.

Still, it didn't answer why the disciples were so obsessed with her.

"So, what's a wet banana? Is it a fruit?"

"It's a divine fruit!"

Xu Miao couldn't rebuke the brown man. His eyes were so passionate that he could see stars in them.

"If anyone eats that fruit raw, their cultivation speed will be boosted by a few hours. But if we eat a wet banana when we have abundant cultivation resources, oh boy, that's a party," The brown man couldn't stop smiling. It seemed as if he was yearning to have one of those wet bananas.

"Do we get wet bananas if we're her vessel?"

"Haiz, no. Only the worthy ones can receive her blessing. Look at me, I'm already an Essence Foundation Realm, but I've never received a single banana from the goddess. I ate one, though."

"What?"

Xu Miao was shocked. He had to reread the banana description again to see if what the system said was legit.

No matter how many times Xu Miao reread the description, it clearly said that she would give him 1,000 wet bananas a day, which was suspicious.

The local vessels never got anything from her. Then, why did she offer him 1,000 bananas a day for being her vessel?

Something was not right.

'System, can I have a chat with the Goddess Yuan Hua?'

\u003c\u003cNo. The interaction between the observing gods and you is one-way. You cannot communicate with them unless you're their dao vessel.\u003e\u003e

Since talking to the system was useless, Xu Miao turned back to the brown man.

"What do you mean you never received one, but you ate one?"

"Ah," The brown man pointed at the tallest skyscraper silhouette at a distance. It was the main building of Myriad Cauldron Sect. "Only the elders and the sect master in there have them. They are selling it at an exorbitant price, but I scrapped my fortune and bought one. My cultivation jumped from the initial essence gathering realm to my current realm within a day!"

The man flexed his muscles to display his strength. His white teeth and reflected the sunlight.

Xu Miao had Saitama's [Okay] expression as he wasn't impressed. Still, he obtained valuable info about the goddess and her relationship with the sect.

"Are the slave treatment in this sect severe? I meant, I'm new and I'm worried."

There was one more reason why Xu Miao chose to approach this bald brown man. As he was different than the local cultivators with Asian physical characteristics, he might be a foreigner or an ex-slave who got stuck in this continent.

"Nah, mate. As long as you have one of these tattoos or our goddess symbol, we're cool. There's no such thing as status discrimination here among our comrades. You know what? Come inside. I can give you an avatar pin, so you won't get bullied by one of those Han old hags."

Xu Miao hesitated at first, but he sensed no harmful intent or dishonesty within his tone, body language, or pupils. He decided to trust a stranger for once.

…

Xu Miao was not disappointed.

The brown man introduced himself as CJ, an honest alchemist shop owner. He was also a certified outer disciple who was authorized to open a pill shop on his own. He even had a portal gate to a private sub-dimensional realm behind his backyard.

The pills CJ sold here were mostly body enhancement supplements, strength boosters, and diet-related. The shop was also selling unique weaponry.

Explosive pills, aka grenade pills, were CJ's signature items. Each round black pill was at the size of Xu Miao's pinky finger. Although it wasn't made of shrapnel, gunpowder, or modern chemical substance, the firepower was similar to an M67. All descriptions and its usage were written under the pill bottles, which interested Xu Miao.

"Wow," Xu Miao browsed all wares that CJ was selling in his shop. He couldn't avert his eyes from the grenade pills, "How much is this?"

CJ laughed, "Ah, that. One raw spirit stone each. Do you want them?"

"Why so cheap!?" Xu Miao was astonished, "Something like this should be worth a lot!!"

"There are more advanced poison pills, acid pills, hallucinating pills, and sleeping pills that can be thrown and cause more damage than these simple explosive pills. Most disciples opt for stronger and more expensive toys while they neglect weaker ones like mine," CJ looked sad when he gazed at his creation.

"How strong are these explosives?"

"Oh, this?" CJ snapped back to his senses, "It's enough to blast through a 2nd-stage cultivator's protective aura if you only inject one strand of Qi into it. The blast radius and its power depending on how many strands you use."

"What's the maximum range and power?"

"Each pill can only contain 100 strands of Qi. Higher than that, it will self-detonate. As for the max power, well, it can kill 2nd-stage fighters within a li instantly, but it can only annoy 3rd-stage fighters."

Xu Miao understood why it wasn't popular.

There were plenty of deadly techniques that consumed 100 strands of Qi, and they could potentially kill any 3rd-stage cultivator even if they were well-protected. However, an external weapon that consumed the same amount of energy but couldn't complete the same feat would be redundant in the eyes of the local people.

But for Xu Miao, who had a bit of knowledge in warfare, harassment toys such as these grenade pills would be useful in real combats.

"Do you have regular customers? Is your business doing okay in this sect?"

"To be honest, not really. At best, I can sell these supplement pills to make a living. Sometimes, merchant association agents visited me and forced me to sell some of my pills at 10% of the price tags," CJ had a bitter smile on his face.

"Comrade, you got cheated."

"I know. At least I sold them at my cost price. I lost nothing."

"But as an alchemist, you need to make some profit, or you won't be able to experiment and master more advanced pills."

CJ's eyes changed. He glared into Xu Miao's eyes without hiding his frustration, "It's not like that I don't want to sell higher. You know and I know how ex-slaves like us are treated outside. Even with my cultivation base, random bastards still abused my status and forced me to go out of business. This is the only place I can have a place to call HOME. If I'm not doing this, every motherfuckers out there will hunt me down and turn me into their pill-making slave! This is the price I'm willing to pay to survive!"

At long last, CJ revealed his secret. This brown man didn't enjoy selling his items at a low price, but he did it to survive.

'We're so similar. I bowed to Xu Xiuying to survive, and he bowed to random merchant organizations to do the same.'

Xu Miao laughed inwardly. He raised both hands, gesturing an apology that he had crossed the line.

"I'm sorry. It's not my place to say that."

"That's fine, man. Forget what I said. I have a pin at the back of my shop. I'll get it for you."

"Thank you. Also, is it alright for me to buy these explosive pills? I'll pay the full price."

CJ shrugged as if he didn't care, "Sure. How many do you want?"

Xu Miao grinned.

…

A few minutes later, Xu Miao walked out of the shop in glee. He emptied the store by buying all 1,000 explosive pills for 1,000 raw spirit stones.

Xu Miao wanted to pay a refined Yin or Yang stone, but CJ preferred raw SS. After all, he was an alchemist, and he could refine these raw stones into refined stones himself.

Happy with this exchange, CJ told Xu Miao where he should go next. Xu Miao also received an anime pin, which was Yuan Hua's anime avatar.

Xu Miao bid CJ farewell and continued his way to the nearest teleportation array. The brown man was waving his hands in earnest.

"Come back again! I'll stock new explosive pills for you! GLORY TO WET BANANAS!!"

"… Sure. Ahaha."

Socializing with nerds could be awkward sometimes, but they were good people. Xu Miao obtained a new story to tell his wives.

Minutes later, Xu Miao found the teleportation array. He approached the sentry officer, who was in charge of protecting the warp gate.

The teleportation array was a magic circle on a marble altar. Floating above the altar was a sci-fi oval teleportation gate, large enough to for a hundred men to enter at the same time.

Xu Miao stopped his feet to stare at the tall portal in a daze. This world was so magical.

The sentry guard noticed Xu Miao's country-bumpkin-like behavior. At first, he wanted to chase this slave away. But as soon as he noticed the anime pin on Xu Miao's chest, the former's attitude flipped 180 degrees.

"Greetings, comrade. Are you using the array for the first time?"

"…"

Xu Miao noticed that there was a tattoo of Yuan Hua at the back of the sentry's left hand. The guy might also be a goddess worshiper.

It felt weird. Xu Miao felt like he was strolling the middle of an otaku cult instead of an alchemist sect. Fortunately, these cultured people were a lot friendlier than common cultivators.

"Yes. I would like to go to the contribution hall. Is this the right place?"

"Of course. Let me adjust the coordinate a bit, so you can use the portal to enter the CP hall directly."

"Thank you very much."

"You're welcome, comrade," The sentry guard cupped his fist and chanted, "Glory to wet bananas!"

Xu Miao's face turned into a derp pokerface as he mimicked the sentry guard, "Glory to wet bananas…"

Behind Xu Miao, a group of local female alchemists peered at them in disgust. They also had foul mouths. The girls gossiped among themselves, but Xu Miao could hear their voices.

"Disgusting freaks. I hope they die without getting laid."

"Pedophiles. Pedophiles are everywhere."

"Fucking virgins. Why is this sect plagued with these men?"

Xu Miao's pokerface intensified. If he were alone and he didn't have someone to protect, he would have slapped all of those thots in public regardless of consequences. Inwardly, he retorted.

'Excuse you, ladies. I already have 13 wives and I've fucked over 300 women that are all prettier than you ugly thots!'

Xu Miao swore in his heart. Once he became an invincible overlord that could beat every cultivator, he would turn these foul mouth women into broken sex toys.