Stupid Alchemis

Only when Xu Miao was in the Isolation Training Space, he could examine the new quest and the message logs.

A quest had been forced into Xu Miao's hands. There was no time limit like the tutorial quests. Yet, Xu Miao wasn't happy. The existence of higher beings dictating his fate made Xu Miao uncomfortable.

'I'm glad I didn't pick the MAX LEVEL option when I answered those questionnaires. Had I picked that choice, I would have gotten stuck under one of those gods forever.'

Jia Shan taught Xu Miao that accepting a god's dao or power would make him a vessel of that god. Therefore, accepting illogical OP strength from a god would be the same as volunteering to be their slave.

With that logic, Xu Miao had a theory regarding the system. He glared at the system menu with a deep frown.

"Are you also a dao or a will of some gods, system?"

\u003c\u003cNo. Your system has never given you freebies since everything requires you to earn it with your hard work while you're betting your life on it. Secondly, your sponsor has never given you [Dao], [Knowledge], or some of his memory. Therefore, you don't owe anything to your sponsor.\u003e\u003e

That was a piece of good news. Xu Miao was relieved that he wouldn't become someone's vessel.

"What about you? Am I owing you anything?"

\u003c\u003cNo. Everything that you've acquired, including the dual-cultivation skills, dantian, essence, items, or various perks, comes from tutorial quests. Tutorial Quests are something like a forced gamble - you either earn big or die trying.\u003e\u003e

Another piece of good news, the system was not a dao. Xu Miao was still a freeman.

"What are you, then?"

\u003c\u003cI'm a system.\u003e\u003e

"…"

Xu Miao had a surprised-Pikachu-face expression. The system avoided his question, and he couldn't get the answer to what kind of relationship between dao and the system.

"What is the sponsor's goal? Why did he give me the system?"

\u003c\u003cYou don't have enough authority to access this information yet.\u003e\u003e

Xu Miao rolled his eyes, "When can I access it, then?"

\u003c\u003cPlease complete a campaign with the five-star difficulty.\u003e\u003e

Hearing about the campaign mode, Xu Miao was interested, "What's the campaign mode? What's the five-star difficulty?"

\u003c\u003cYou don't have enough authority to access this information yet.\u003e\u003e

"…"

The system kept trolling Xu Miao. It seemed that he had to kill Xie Tian and unlock this mode to explore the detail himself.

Even then, Xu Miao got enough information. As long as the system wasn't a dao of some gods, he didn't have to worry about continuing using it.

Xu Miao opened the system shop since the previous system messages informed him that it had new items.

.

Low-Grade Healing Pill (10): 10 Yang Essence

Low-Grade Spirit Pill (10): 10 Yang Essence

Low-Grade Refreshment Pill (10): 10 Yang Essence

Low-Grade Berserk Pill (1): 10 Yang Essence

Low-Grade Spirit Poison Pill (1): 10 Yin Essence

[Items]

Succubus Menstrual Blood (1ml): 100 Yin Essence

Ring of Yin Slave (1): 10,000 Yin Essence

Alchemist Starter Pack: 1 Yang Essence

Yin Yang Divine Vein Pill Ingredient Pack: Free (Sponsored by Kunwu)

[Permanent Skill]

Yang Flame Resistance (5%): 5,000 Yang Essence

Yin Flame Resistance (5%): 5,000 Yin Essence

[Unlockable Mode]

Alchemy System: Free (Sponsored by Kunwu)

[Recipe]

Yin Yang Divine Vein Pill: Free (Sponsored by Kunwu)

.

Seeing that the new items were free, Xu Miao bought all of them right away, including the Alchemist Starter Pack.

The alchemist starter pack ejected 100 five-year-old spirit ginsengs and a 30-centimeter brown high cauldron from the system screen.

\u003c\u003cDing\u003e\u003e

\u003c\u003cYou have unlocked Alchemy Feature.\u003e\u003e

A new menu appeared. On the screen, two giant windows partitioned the menu. On the left side, it contained the list of alchemy recipes. On the right side, it showed a successful percentage and possible results.

Currently, all recipes showed a big [0] as Xu Miao's alchemy mastery.

The recipe was for a low-grade healing pill, which was being sold in the system shop. It was pointless to make extra healing pills since Xu Miao could buy them, but these ingredients could serve as a practice.

In the recipe, Xu Miao only needed one spirit ginseng root as an ingredient. It also showed the alchemy process from the beginning, including how to use Yang Qi and Yang Fire.

Xu Miao looked at the cauldron and the pile of ginsengs.

'I can use a bit of yang fire. It's the same as yang flame from my dual-flame, but it's milder.'

Following the recipe's instruction, Xu Miao separated the leaves from spirit ginseng roots. The recipe said that the leaves were the main ingredient of low-grade refreshment pills, so he didn't discard them.

As for the roots, they would be cooked with Xu Miao's yang fire to become a low-grade healing pill.

After processing all 100 ginsengs, Xu Miao rubbed his hands, having fun doing something new other than fighting or having sex.

'I've dreamt of doing this for a long time. I wonder how alchemists in cultivation worlds cook their pills. I'll gonna have a lot of fun burning the shit out of these roots!'

Xu Miao tossed a root into the brown cauldron. Then, he summoned his yang flame and dropped it into the container. He closed the lit and began controlling the fire and the ginseng with his Qi.

…

minutes later, Xu Miao finished cooking the root. When he peeked inside the cauldron, he found only black ashes.

Of course, no rookie could complete a pill with only a recipe or without direct supervision from a senior alchemist.

Xu Miao shrugged and tossed away the ash inside the cauldron. He tried again.

'What do I miss? Right, the temperature. The recipe said it should be … as warm as sunlight during autumn!?'

Xu Miao's brain.exe had stopped working for five seconds.

"Well, fuck you, recipe! How many Celsius!? How many Fahrenheit!? Why aren't you idiot alchemists using temperature units!? Why the fuck are you using metaphor in alchemy!? Don't you need precision, control, and perfect calculations!? You fucking idiots need to learn physics, chemistry, and science!"

In anger, Xu Miao yelled out loud in the space. As a man from a science culture, he found the description obnoxious. He even kicked the brown cauldron like a soccer ball.

minutes later, Xu Miao regained his calm. He tried again.

"Okay. I'll think about it logically. The average temperature during autumn should be something around 20 degrees Celsius. The sunlight should be a bit warmer than that if this stupid recipe author used his feeling. Should it be around 30? But that won't be enough to cook the ginseng root or ignite the yang fire! HOW DAFUQ CAN I LIT A FIRE WITH ONLY 30 DEGREES CELSIUS!? AHHHHH!!!"

For another 10 minutes, Xu Miao screamed in anger. His hatred toward the recipe author soared.

When Xu Miao's emotion stabilized, he took the cauldron that he had kicked back and started over. He abandoned all instructions from the recipe and experimented with it himself.

During the second attempt, Xu Miao controlled his yang fire to be at the bare minimum. The temperature flickered between 250 degrees to 300 degrees Celsius.

After 5 minutes, the result came out - It burnt to ashes.

"Figured. Should I stop earlier? That stupid recipe said I need at least 5 minutes…"

Xu Miao frowned. He believed that the temperature was still too hot. Therefore, he added in yin flame to lower the overall temperature.

But it was a bad idea. Once yang flame and yin flame met, they exploded.

*BOOM*

The only cauldron Xu Miao had was blown to pieces. The explosive force shattered his skull, hands, arms, and his brain to pieces.

Just like that, Xu Miao died in space without fighting a clone.

\u003c\u003cYou have been respawned.\u003e\u003e

\u003c\u003cYour newbie cauldron has been repaired.\u003e\u003e

Upon getting resurrected, Xu Miao yelled in anger again, "#[email?protected]\u0026!%\[email?protected]"

…

One of Xu Miao's bad traits was his relentless desire to win when his anger got the best of him. Similar to when he faced Xu Xiuying's clone, he didn't give up trying to complete something impossible.

After 99 attempts, Xu Miao couldn't come close to complete one low-grade healing pill, the easiest pill that rookie alchemists could make.

As usual, Xu Miao came back to his senses after several deaths from the cauldron explosion. He had a sense of déjà vu while he was laying on the floor.

Thinking of a similar event, Xu Miao summoned White Album, "Come out!"

White Album giggled as she appeared. She teased Xu Miao, 'Having fun dying? Are you a masochist?'

"Yeah, right. Tell me, can you concoct pills?"

'Pfft. As long as they are basic pills, such as low-grade or medium-grade pills, I can do it.'

"What!?" In shock, Xu Miao sat up and glared at his familiar, "You can!? Why didn't you tell me!?"

White Album shrugged, 'You've never asked.'

"…"

Xu Miao picked the last ginseng root and the cauldron. Then, he placed them before White Album, "Teach me how to make this!"

'Did you even read the recipe?'

"Yes. But the description sucks!"

'Well, you suck! Read it carefully, especially the temperature part!'

Xu Miao reread the recipe again. Then, he recited it one by word, "The yang fire temperature has to be as warm as sunlight during autumn."

'Yes! As warm as autumn weather. What part can't you understand? It's so easy!'

Xu Miao rolled his eyes, "How hot is the autumn weather, then? I won't be able to ignite my yang fire if it's too cold."

'Who said anything about roasting it with fucking fire!? Have you ever cook your bread by dipping it into the flame!?'

"Err, no."

'You bake it, you fool! Warm your cauldron with yang fire and use your Qi to disperse excess temperature from the cauldron. Control the ginseng to make it float. Then, compress and combine its spiritual energy with your yang essence. The root will automatically get rounder until it becomes a pill! Everything only takes exactly 5 minutes to complete!'

"…"

Xu Miao's eyes turned into two dots while his mouth became a single line, a derp pokerface. While having the expressionless face, he tried again with the last ginseng root and followed White Album's guidance.

Five minutes later, a yellowish ginseng root merged Xu Miao's yang energy and its medicinal spirit. The pill was completed.

\u003c\u003cDing\u003e\u003e

\u003c\u003cYou have concocted a pill for the first time! Congratulations!\u003e\u003e

\u003c\u003cThe system shop has been updated. You can buy basic ingredients to practice alchemy.\u003e\u003e

Xu Miao stared at the yellow pill in the cauldron. For some reason, he was not proud of his achievement.

"I'm stupid."

'Yes, you are.'

"I know," Xu Miao still had the pokerface, "And you're the dumb bitch who is serving this stupid master."

'…'

.

[New Items]

Five-Year-Old Spirit Ginseng (100): 10 Yang Essence

-Year-Old Mandrake (100): 10 Yang Essence

Blood Mushroom (100): 10 Yang Essence

Baby Twin-tail Cobra Poison Sag (100): 10 Yang Essence

Low-Grade Spirit Pill Recipe: 100 Yang Essence

Low-Grade Refreshment Pill Recipe: 100 Yang Essence

Low-Grade Berserk Pill Recipe: 100 Yang Essence

Low-Grade Spirit Poison Pill Recipe: 100 Yin Essence